Pinch, punch, it is the first day of the month (no seriously, pinch me…)

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This morning:

Gary the hamster produces the most colossal hamster turd known to hamsterkind (and by some inexplicable sorcery it has landed OUTSIDE of his cage)

It takes almost an hour to drop the son at Drama Club and then I realise I’ve forgotten his lunch

Not wanting to face the judgement of the Yummy Mummy coven by sending the son in with a McDonald’s sack of food, I decide to venture home for his lunch bag


Two hours later son is reunited with his lunch but has already exploited the situation to acquire a half-eaten jam sandwich from his best friend and strip of chewing gum from the surly work experience teen

This afternoon:

We come home to find Gary has repeated his dirty protest (note to self: if son asks for a pet and promises to clean up after said pet until the end of eternity, do not believe him for one second)

Remember for the two thousandth time today that the announcement of The Greenhouse Funny Prize is at 5pm and I commend myself for the self-control in waiting to check my emails until the afternoon but there are no new emails from The Greenhouse Funny Prize judges

Half an hour later:

Recheck emails and despair that I’m neither funny nor talented because there is no email from The Greenhouse Funny Prize

Early evening:

Check the Greenhouse Literary Agency’s site to see which super talented authors have been shortlisted:


Over the moon, pinch me I’m dreaming, couldn’t-care-less-that-the-husband-is-giving-me-the-‘told-you-so’-look-after-my-4:30pm-melt-down, unbelievably delighted to see I’ve made the shortlist!

What a brilliant start to August (and it doesn’t matter at all that I’ve had hamster poo stuck to the bottom of my left flip-flop all day)

Thank you Greenhouse Funny Prize judges!!

All aboard the bandwagon

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The Christmas tree is up, the son has posted his letter to Santa and I’m eating my way through my fourth batch of mince pies.  Something about this time of year compels me to write tales of mystery and enchantment.  The son reminds me every day how magical the world is so when the husband and I heard about the imagination revolution ’Dinovember’, we couldn’t resist joining in, particularly as the son has reached new heights in pranks at our expense.

Dinovember, started by a couple who wanted to spark the imaginations of their children, involves convincing your kids that their toy dinosaurs come to life.

We decided to use the son’s Captain America, mainly because the dinosaurs had travelled to the bottom of his toy box and neither one of us could face the minefield of jagged Lego bricks and diecast toy cars trying to find them.

First, Captain America took the son’s toothbrush


Then he dared to challenge Non-Denominational Christmas Penguin for the top spot on the tree


His antics progressed after the son put him on the Naughty Spot for his behaviour and he took the truck on a joy ride


He took time out to read whilst he hatched his next plans


Before long he was up to no good again



He did apologise though


We wish you all a Happy Captain Avember (our take on Dinovember) and hope you get to relive the marvels of childhood wonderment however you decide to hoodwink your kids.


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The son is back at nursery and to fill the music-festivals-and-museum-trips-and-bike-rides-and-swimming-at-the-seaside-and-ice-cream-and-crafts-and-ice-cream-in-crafts-and-punting-and-fruit-picking void in my life, it’s time to fill it with all things writer, starting with this blog.

The summer began with award buzz.  I couldn’t believe it when I placed second in the Frances Lincoln Diverse Voices Children’s Book Award.  Such a huge honour.

Diverse Voices

I wasn’t so lucky at the SingTel Picture Book Award but I have to admit I was chuffed enough to have been shortlisted at all.

Inspired to move forward with my writing, I decided to apply to do a BA in Creative Writing.  I’ve spent the last few days flicking through the syllabus and I’m reminded how wonderful a skill it is to be able to write and to make a connection to someone else with your words.

I remember a TED Talk by Andrew Stanton, (the man behind Toy Story, need I say more).  I watched this late last year.  I was so inspired, it was probably the single biggest push I needed to enter the Frances Lincoln Diverse Voices competition.  Seeing it do the rounds again on a writer’s forum, I couldn’t resist watching it again.

Plotting with the husband

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It’s Sunday evening.  Husband polishes off last slice of fudge cake.  Laptop battery dies after a hard day toiling away on the current WIP.

Me: [inspired by the previous afternoon’s Columbo movie (the one where Dr Sloan from Diagnosis Murder has a shocking Captain Birdseye beard)] Can you help me with some plot issues?

Husband: [eyes fill with dread at the thought of another forty thousand word manuscript] Do I have to read something?

Me: No.  I just want to throw some ideas around.

Husband: [fearful] Are you going to get upset again?

Me: [eyes drift off, recalling the anguish last time I asked husband to read first chapter of WIP and he failed to laugh at the obvious hilarious comedy opening and the raging argument that followed where I suggested he may be dead on the inside] Promise.

Husband scoots over on sofa.

Me: So whilst I’ve been writing today I’ve had these two great characters in mind.  Rather than force them in to the current manuscript I thought they should have their own book.  I think they’d make a good pair in a mystery or detective plot but I’m not sure.

Husband: I know a great detective mystery book.

Me: It’s not The Da Vinci code, is it?

Husband: [smiles nostalgically, fondly remembering the only fiction book he’s read since GCSE English] It’s a brilliant book!

Me: OK, but I’m looking for an original plot idea.

Silence.  Husband and I deep in thought.

Husband: Have you thought about a plot involving code?

Me: [rolls eyes] What, like The Da Vinci Code?

Husband: Oh right. Yeah.

Me: I think I like the idea of building a friendship.  I think it should be integral to the story.

Husband: That sounds good.  Maybe an unlikely friendship?

Me: [excited] Yes!  I like that!

Husband: Like an unlikely bond between a university professor and police cryptographer?

Me: The Da Vinci Code again?  Seriously?

Husband looks defeated.

Me: [feels bad and speaks encouragingly] I do really like the idea of a mystery to solve.  I think these characters would work well in that sort of genre.

Husband: [looks excited] Wait!  This just came to me.  How about two characters find a body and there’s a cryptic message and it all links back to a conspiracy theory within an institution that’s been around for hundreds of years.

Me: Isn’t that the plot of The Da Vinci code?

Husband:  Oh yeah.

Me: Hey, thanks for your help.

Husband: [looks pleased] That was quick.  Did I really help?

Me:  Are you heading to the kitchen to put the kettle on?

Husband: [stands up] If you want.

Me: You’ve helped.